How comparison syndrome can ruin your life

Author

Rhi Maylin
April 02, 2023

Hey friend,

Wow, what a week it’s been. I have learnt so much about myself this week and I want to share with you some of the mind boggling and eye opening conversations I’ve had with myself whilst doing silly running distances alone in the pouring rain.

Have you ever seen yourself as a runner?

Or maybe you’ve toyed with the idea of taking up running?

Well only 4 months ago I’d never seen myself as a runner, was struggling to even get through 3km, hated it and would find every excuse not to do it.

Not much has changed to be honest.

Ok I am covering more distance, but I still find the first 3km really hard.

As I am sure you are aware, I am running the London Marathon in 3 weeks time.

Now, I had always said I would never do a marathon. It didn’t interest me. I thought people were mad running such a distance (I still think that by the way).

Then, stupidly, last summer I entered a 100km ultra marathon across the South Downs 🤯. I didn’t have my head screwed on right when I entered (that is quite often the case). I didn’t plan on running this distance of course.

Long story short, I trained up to 15km (🤯🤯🤯) for the ultra marathon and just rocked up on the day hoping for the best, banana in hand and a litre of water on my back.

Well let me tell you something, I learnt my lesson. Very little training for a huge challenge. Silly lady!! I had to pull out at 82km due to health concerns. I couldn’t walk for about 3 weeks afterwards and I was in pain for 3 months!

Here’s the thing, anyone can turn up to an event and give it their best shot. ANYONE!

BUT, there are very few people who put in the work, the effort, the time, the training, the recovery when no one is watching and when they are sore and tired.

That is where you find your strength. Both mentally and physically.

Running is an emotional rollercoaster.

Those long runs in the cold and wet months are truly challenging and at times, incredibly miserable.

On those long runs, you hit every emotion going. Frustration, self doubt, pure happiness, joy, pain, sadness, an overwhelming sense of achievement and I have even found myself crying whilst running and not even understanding why. I’m not really an emotional person either!

The hardest lesson to overcome on my running journey has been comparison.

The thief of happiness!

On multiple occasions I have found myself looking at other runners pace, distance, times etc. and comparing it to where I am at. Knowing I am slow, knowing I walk at times, knowing I find it really challenging but somehow these “perfect” runners have it down to a T and make it look easy.

Then I remind myself, they don’t have kids, they don’t have disturbed nights sleep, they may not have a business to run, they haven’t had spinal surgery, they aren’t planning a wedding.

One foot in front of the other. One step at a time. Your race, your pace. Just cross that finish line.

I would love to hear some of your greatest challenges that you have overcome in your lifetime and what lessons you have learnt from them. Hit reply!

Runner or not, I hope you took something from today’s email.

Love as always,

Rhi x

P.s. I am raising money for an incredible charity, the Scoliosis Association. Having had spinal surgery myself and a fused spine this just felt like the right charity to raise awareness for. I would be incredibly grateful if you could help me reach my £1500 target for the London Marathon. Even just £1 goes a very long way.

Thank you in advance ❤️