A letter to my daughter

Oh hi 👋 

I had a difficult conversation this week with my coach. He challenged me, asked me some difficult questions and before you knew it, we were knee deep in my life long struggles 😰.

We all have them, but it is safe to say, most of the time we bury them. However, consciously or not, they affect you! So it is (as I discovered this week) important to face them, deal with them, sit with them, discuss them and not hide from them.

I am going to share a very vulnerable and honest struggle I have faced for many years. I have written this in a letter format as my task was to write to my daughter in order to help her not face this same struggle as she grows up.

Hopefully some of you may relate in someway.

My darling girl,

I’ve struggled with something my whole 31 years of living and I don’t want you to face the same struggle.

So today, as I lay next to your bed whilst you fall asleep, I wanted to write you a letter for when you are older. A letter that hopefully will help you to never have to go through this same struggle.

Success.

It is drummed into us from a very young age. It’s overpowering, overwhelming & we are taught that success makes us happy!

Success = money.

Success = fame.

Success = happiness.

Success = you’ve made it.

I’ve forever chased this.

More money so that I can give us a better life.

More followers and likes on socials in the hope that it makes me more successful, again to give us a better life.

I’ve chased happiness more than I’d like to admit.

I’ve set goals, achieved them but it’s never been enough. I’ve never felt like I’ve made it. In fact the goals never really feel as fulfilling as they once did.

But recently I’ve started realising that I am so wrong. That I am making myself suffer & struggle.

Success isn’t measured.

Success isn’t a number or a goal.

It’s not a specific thing.

The success we are taught to chase does not make you happy. In fact, does it even exist?

Success is unique and individual. You cannot generalise it.

Success is what you believe it to be. Not what someone else believes, not what someone else has. But what you truly believe & want it to be.

You must sit down and write down your values. You core values!! What makes you happy, what beliefs you have, what you truly value in life.

Be true to yourself! That right there is success.

Fulfil your core values. Be grateful for your health. Love yourself darling. Be proud of you. It’s the greatest gift you will ever have.

Don’t waste 31 years like I have chasing “success.” Don’t go after what everyone else believes success to be. You have the answers, you have the ability & you have the strength to be successful in the ways which you believe success to be.

And don’t forget to celebrate it. To be proud of yourself.

You don’t need external gratification. So please darling, never chase that.

One more thing, I am forever proud of you sweetheart. If you saw yourself through my eyes, success, happiness & love would ooze out of you everyday.

Now, go live, thrive & be damn proud of you!!

Rhi x